Thursday, March 04, 2010

Time: Why Do You Move So Quickly?

 
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Hudson is 3 and a half months old, growing so much, and is getting more and more active by the day. I am realizing that the wonderful and amazing newborn stage of life is already a distant past... I love the stage Hudson is in (you kind of think whatever stage your kid is in is your favorite, right?) - he is so smiley and interactive and sweet - but my heart is also sentimental about the changes he is already going through. He would much rather be sitting upright, looking outward or be in a standing position than be snuggled in tight and cozy...although we can still find those times now and then! Hudson is a strong, and very alert little man. His bright eyes and his bright smile melt my heart a million times a day.

Believe me, I have had quite a few moments alone with this sweet baby, in the middle of the night, and I have reflected a whole lot on all the little things I love about brand new babes. Inspired by my blogging friend, Devin, I am going to write them down to always remember. It seriously is hard to believe how quickly these first months have passed. Hudson's arrival opened the floodgates of memories with the other three as newborns. Many things are so similar between all of my little ones and I am just so, so, thankful for each of them.

I hope to always remember these special things about my newborn sons:
~ the pride, joy, and sheer happiness of just having one of these perfect blessings in your arms - and the way everyone around you reacts too :)
~ that sweet new baby smell - their skin, their hair, even their drool/spit up kinda has a special smell
~ the waking up stretch where they seem like they are extending themselves completely but really it is just their little bottom and their head that stick way out...everything else is crunched into a little ball, and it takes so much effort to open their eyes
~ the fuzzy white hair along their body
~ the little bit of extra loose skin that is just waiting to be filled out
~ those early days of trying to change a diaper when their natural reflex is to stay in the fetal position and you've gotta pull those little legs down, all the while taking such care around the umbilical chord and circumcision... and trying to hurry before the fountain sprays up and out :) Hudson happened to be the very best at surprising us with the spray.
~ the peaceful sleep - so heavy that you simply cannot seem to have success in waking them up
~ their super warm bodies cuddled close to mine
~ the smile while they sleep - there is nothing as innocent and pure as this...I could watch it for a long, long time without getting bored :)
~ their ability to fall asleep at anytime, anywhere and to just rest deeply - even if they are moved
~ how quickly they began to "chub up" and the adorable little rolls began to form :)
~ the natural sucking reflex - I especially love it when they suck until the pressure forms and then they rest and slowly start sucking again
~ the baby sneezes, and yawns, and the little chin quiver when they cry
~ the absolute sense of awe and love when you hold them and realize they are yours and that they totally depend on you for everything
~ the tiny little sounds that they make when they nurse - pure contentment with a full tummy
~ the rhythm of patting them on the back for the burp - and the way we would always gently lay our boys down and then raise them back up and over the shoulder to help get that air bubble up and out
~ the sitting on your knee burping position - where your hand holds up their little face/cheeks as they rest forward against your hand
~ when the smiles begin to come, my favorite is when they are latched on but smile at the same time...look up at you with their big blue eyes, pause and then continue on sucking
~ how little, in the beginning, their faces look with a pacifier in their mouth - and just how too quickly that all balances out - now, sweet Hudson, specifically, does not care for the thing (the only one of our boys)- and we try and try to make him like it but he will take it - almost only if his Mommy (the only one who knows how to do it just right) will tuck a cozy blanket under his chin and by his cheek to "hold it in place" while he lazily sucks on it
~ I love the sudden jerky arm movements that seem so uncontrolled until they slowly gain that ability and seem to go cross eyed as that huge tightly clenched little fist comes into plain view
~ the long, beautiful eyelashes that so nicely compliment each of their big, bright blue eyes.
~ their oh so soft bald heads
~ the weight of them sleeping in the crook of my arm or on my chest
~ the swaddle!
~ with each additional child my additional clauosterphobic tendencies during nursing times (when it seems like all the brothers want to be near and close and cuddly with new baby and me - ahhhhhhhhhh)
~ and so on......

I know that I don't want time to stand still in reality - of course, I want Hudson to grow and develop and reach milestones....but if time could just slow down a little, I wouldn't complain.

Dear Father in Heaven,
Thank you for the amazing gift of newborn children - for the miracle of allowing us to participate in creation, and to hold and care for and love them from the very beginning. I thank you for Hudson and for the true blessing he is to our family...for the special bond I feel with him as my fourth son. For his smiles that melt my heart so many times a day. I even thank you for his cries that remind me how dependent he is on us. Give us energy and patience and tenderness and so much wisdom to raise him well. I don't want to ever take for granted the gift of each stage of my children's lives - help me to fully cherish each day, each milestone, each new development. And thank You already for the grace that covers and cleanses when we fall short of being the parents, the examples, the models You call us to be. Tonight, I praise You and thank You for my boys. Amen

1 comment:

Unknown said...

This is beautiful, Carolyn. Thank you so much for sharing.