Wednesday, February 27, 2008

An Outpouring

In the silence of this moment I sit and reflect on these past two weeks. We have felt an outpouring of love and support from family and friends and we are so thankul for the good people God has placed in our lives. Good, good people - sharing homemade ice cream, hugs, prayers, sending flowers, email after email with kind words and thoughts, prayers and more prayers. Thank you. We have felt lifted up and encouraged by all of you. The little life of our small child has changed us forever as this simple poem communicates...

.. how very softly you entered our world, only a moment you stayed, but your footprints shall be forever etched upon our hearts .........

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Sunday, February 24, 2008

A Double Dare from Pierce to Kate

Little Cousin Kate,

I have been hearing all this fuss about you and how much hair you have. So what if it takes me nearly 12 months to grow half as much as you have in 12 days. I guarantee I have more hair than my big brothers did at this age. So - check out this picture below and I dare you....double dare you to see if your fancy hair can do what mine can! C'mon - girls can have mohawks too - can't they? Huh? Huh?

I guess I'll see you soon. Get ready for lots of fun and action all around you because I am crawlin' now. No one is safe. Nothing is safe. And just between me and you...I think I have found the secret to keeping everyone on their toes....I just crawl a little close to the stairs and everyone gets worked up. I love it...even though I have a few bumps since this all started too. Oh well. Don't get too competitive with me just yet - take in a little time of just lazin' around - it is the life! Oh, and one more piece of advice to ya...about now start sticking your tongue out at your parents and coo a little...fake a smile - they absolutely go crazy!!! The simplest things capture their hearts. I dunno?!

Love ya,

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Monday, February 18, 2008

Thanks Mom!


My Mom is an amazing woman. She went behind my back and planned, with Benjy's help, a suprise birthday gift for me - showing up on my front door. I was so suprised and so happy! She planned to stay 2 weeks....I convinced her (and it wasn't very hard!) to let us extend her ticket for one more week so that we could take her to see the ocean. She has never seen it (other than from an airplane) and since we are just 4 hours from Acapulco..... She loved it!!! And so did we!

Little did I know what an incredible blessing it would be for me that her ticket was extended. The day she was originally scheduled to leave, I spent the morning and part of the afternoon at the hospital. We had found out on Tuesday that we had lost the baby and it really helped us to have my Mom here - yes, to help with taking care of the boys, etc.. - but to be a comfort to us as well. I am thankful she was with us - she has been with us at the births of each of our children, I am grateful she was here with us at this time of loss too.

My Mom has more energy than I do on my best of days. She has been so much help to me - cooking, cleaning, doing laundry and baking me apple pies! She quickly connects with my boys and is such a fun grandma to them. She has spoiled Pierce - she does whatever he wants her to (poor guy will face reality again when she heads home). Piersen has begun to crawl since her arrival and already cares more about using her fingers to guide him around as he walks and walks. If he fusses she walks him more. She is so good to my boys and I have loved watching them bond with her these past 3 weeks. We have had lots of laughs together and it is really special to me that she has shared this time with us.

Thank you Mom for every kind gesture you have shown our family - whether big or small - we know how much you love us and we appreciate you very much. We are so very thankful for this visit! We love you and will miss you incredibly.
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Thursday, February 14, 2008

The Loves Of My Life

The pictures say it all. I am a very blessed girl! Happy Valentine's Day!

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Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Thirty Days

Well, thirty days can seem like a very short time to experience all of the ups and downs that we have had over these past weeks and days. Although some of you may have heard about this - many of you more than likely have not. On January 12, 2008 - just one short month ago, we received a shocking but extremely delightful of another addition to our family! It took us several days to realize it was true but after picking our mouths up off the floor - our excitement and joy took over! We shared the news of our pregnancy with our family and some close friends after going to the doctor for a confirming ultrasound. Much to our suprise the baby already measured in at 8 weeks and 3 days of development - well on its way to moving into our hearts and becoming a part of our sweet family. After a few days of living with the reality - Benjy and I shared the news with the boys. They were all excited in their own ways - Reece expressing happiness and a strong desire to have another brother only...because he does not like girls...they cry too much (ha! but quite a change from the last pregnancy when his prayer was that Piersen would be a little sister). Chase, with his three year old attention span was much more intrigued with the coin he found on the floor - but did stop his pursuit long enough to declare that my tummy would get big and big and big again. Piersen....ya - he had no idea what would be coming his way! Sweet moment for our family. The people we did share our news with all seemed very happy for us and at the same time had that look of "how crazy is life going to be for you" look in their eyes. We received the typical collection of predictions that God must be giving us a little girl this time around. We think that would be a really nice suprise - but probably not likely. My heart began connecting immedietly with this little one - girl or boy - as it has done with all of my pregnancies. Benjy and I shared many smiles together over the reality of another special person to fill our lives and our home. We were humbly thankful to God for His goodness. That statement continues - we are humbly thankful to God for His goodness - even in the shadow of our sadness - the reality that we became aware of yesterday, February 12, 2008. Our little one is gone. He or she has been gone for an uncertain amount of time...maybe even days after that first ultrasound. I had no idea - had been feeling wonderfully great. Even when I began to lightly spot, I was confident and sure that all was okay (it had happened in my pregnancy with Pierce and all progressed smoothly). The doctor suggested I come in for a checkup - I was planning to come in later this week anyway. He could not find a heartbeat. I remained confident and calm (perhaps it was denial?) but he sent us for an ultrasound. I could see the reality the instant he placed the wand on my tummy. No heartbeat. No movement. No life. Just a very small image of an undeveloped baby. His or her body measuring only 8 weeks and 6 days. We are sad. We are hurting. We are as suprised to learn of this baby's death as we were to learn of his/her life. All this in thirty days. What a roller coaster. I had a D&C today and I feel empty and strange - to have been carrying the body of my tiny baby - anticipating life - and yet his or her life already in the safe and perfect arms of God. We have shed tears and received the prayers and comfort of family and good friends. We trust in God's wisdom and His eternal grace. We are confident in where our baby is and we take peace in that. Our little one is in a much more perfect environment than my womb or our home could have ever provided, yet we grieve and mourn our loss. I take comfort in this hymn that I have loved since childhood...

Safe in the arms of Jesus,
safe on his gentle breast,
there by His love o'er shaded,
sweetly my soul shall rest.

Thank you for your friendship and prayers.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Welcome Baby Kate!!

My sweet little niece Kate Elizabeth was born on Friday, February 8th. Congrats to Betsy and Jared - we are so happy for you! Little Kate is the first baby girl to be born on both sides of her family and so with a bunch of big boy cousins (5 on her mommy's side and 2 on her daddy's side)she should be well protected...and will have to be a tough one to take all of their loving affection!

I am dying - not being able to be there to see her but am being somewhat pacified by phone conversations and sweet picutres. She is beautiful and such a blessing. We are excited to see you Kate in just a few weeks. Get ready because March is just around the corner we come!!!

I think I see a little resemblence between her and my boys - check out this picture below of baby Kate and then baby Piersen (okay - not the hair - Kate wins in that department!!!)

Monday, February 04, 2008


Yesterday was my brother-in-laws' 30th birthday. Brig decided to set a personal goal to run 50 miles on his 30th birthday - I am not exactly sure of all of his motivations for this goal....but I think he just wanted to prove to himself and the world that he could do it! He plotted out his own course and did it! I couldn't believe the distance he ran but it especially impacted me when I heard that he began running at 5am and was finishing around 5 pm!!! Yes, that is 12 hours of running! I was inspired to talk to him near the end of his race to congratulate and give him birthday wishes (he was carrying his cell phone so family could check in with him every now and then to cheer him on!!!)

Brig - I kind of doubt you read my blog - but just know we are proud of you. Benjy was bragging on you to all of his friends last night at the super-bowl party.

Way to go!!!!!